Who Should Headline Super Bowl 50?

“To the window…”

Katy Perry took the field on an animatronic lion last Sunday night for halftime of Super Bowl 49 (or Super Bowl XLIX for all of you who still think we need to honor Roman Numerals for some reason). If you like Katy Perry dancing with cartoon Nazi sharks, you were most likely pleased. If you like Lenny Kravitz and Missy Elliot then you were probably happy to see them step back into the spotlight for a moment. My mind was elsewhere, however, as I considered who might win the honor of performing next year when the Super Bowl celebrates its fiftieth anniversary as the nation’s greatest unofficial holiday. I came up with my 10 personal choices below. The stipulations include:

A). They can not have headlined a Super Bowl before.

B). They must be an American artist. I know we’ve had U2, the Rolling Stones and the Who rock out in years past but I think it’s safe to say a homegrown talent from the U.S. of A. will take center stage in San Francisco one year from now.

Please share your picks in the comments section.

10). Maroon 5:

Just kidding.

10). Chance the Rapper:

This would never happen but as long as I have a platform to advocate for Chance, you’re going to be hearing his name time and again. Acid Rap forever.

9). Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons:

Remember them tearing it up the 2014 Grammy Awards? Who doesn’t want to see that again?

8). Nicki Minaj ft. Drake:

Nicki may have backed up Madonna during Super Bowl 46 but it’s time for her to take the spotlight. We’ll have Drake come along for the ride just for the comedy potential of seeing her tease him on the biggest stage possible.

7). The Grateful Dead

The quintessential San Francisco band. If they were even ten years younger, this choice is a no brainer.

6). Rihanna

Rihanna is too talented and unique to care about living in Beyonce’s shadow but a Super Bowl halftime show would cement her status as an icon.

5). R.E.M.

The greatest American rock band of my lifetime reuniting for a one night only event. Anyone who listened to Michael Stipe open for Patti Smith last month in New York knows he can still croon. The set list basically writes itself: “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?,” “Losing My Religion,” “Man on the Moon,” “Strange Currencies,” “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine).”

4). Jay Z and Kanye West ft. Mos Def, Talib Kweli, and Busta Rhymes

Jay and Kanye do their thing before a “Get By (Remix)” finale for the ages. Any questions?

3). Taylor Swift, Lana Del Rey, Janelle Monae, and Miley Cyrus

I wrestled with each of these artists occupying a spot somewhere on this list. Can you imagine the dynamics at play? I have no idea how this would work. It could be one of the most unforgettable pop moments of the 21st century or a train wreck inside of a hurricane. Either way, everyone on the planet will be watching.

2). Outkast featuring the Black Keys

Pair the legendary hip hop duo with the reigning kings of rock and roll and salivate at the prospect of hearing “B.O.B.” with a heavy metal twist or watching Big Boi freestyle over a lick during “Gold on the Ceiling.”

1). Prince

So remember when I said you can’t be on this list if you’ve already headlined a Super Bowl? Well, rules don’t apply to Prince. He delivered the greatest halftime show performance in history back in 2007, subverting expectations that he would play mainly classic hits like “1999” and “Let’s Go Crazy.” Instead he whipped out a little Queen, Hendrix, Ike and Tina, and even the Foo Fighters, knocked over the microphone and jammed out with the Florida A&M University Marching Band. To all the Beyonce fans out there who are demanding a recount right now, let me remind you that Prince finished this set by playing “Purple Rain.” IN THE RAIN. That wasn’t spontaneous – he made it happen. Prince makes Beyonce look like Wayne Newton.

Not only does he still have his entire back catalogue in play but this time around Prince has some new hits which he showcased during an epic SNL appearance back in November 2014. But you know he’s probably going to find new ways to surprise us all over again before releasing a cavalry of majestic white birds weeping into the night during an explosive finale of “When Doves Cry.” When it comes to the Super Bowl, Prince is the King.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *